Where are you trying to get to?
If you don't know, follow your curiosity
Recently I’ve been feeling frazzled and frustrated.
Mostly because there is so much I want to do and learn.
In some ways, most of the things I’m interested in are connected but in other ways, they seem completely unrelated.
I often find myself at this crossroads, unsure of which path to take.
The thing is, I know that I am in control and can alter the direction of my life journey whenever I choose to. I also know that some of my interests may converge further down the line.
Despite this knowledge, too often I feel like making a choice means I’ll potentially miss out on things I want to pursue - or at least peruse.
When I catch myself feeling like this, I ask myself the question:
Where are you trying to get to?
I also ask:
If today was your last day on earth, would you care that you hadn’t explored or learned more about the things you’re currently agonising over?
The answer is almost always no.
To be totally transparent with you, there are very few things I absolutely want to do before I die.
I do not have a bucket list.
I had one in my thirties but now, in my early forties, my focus is on living a comfortable, peaceful, financially secure and joyful life.
This is home on earth for me and in everything I do, this is always where I’m trying to get (back) to.
Tangibly, how this looks from one month or year to the next may change, but how I fundamentally want to feel in my life remains constant.
So when I’m feeling unsure about my next steps, soon enough I remember (usually through a journaling session) that I simply need to find my way back home to myself.
And for me, the most effective way of doing this is to follow my curiosity.
Curiosity is our friend
I discovered the world of personal development and self-help back in the early noughties when I was in my twenties. This means I spent far too many years trying to “find my passion”.
I read books, attended talks, downloaded workbooks and completed activities to find the one thing I was passionate about and that I could see myself doing for the rest of my life.
However, I’m not someone who has ever been fanatical about anything. Not even as a child. I’ve always had many interests and enjoyed learning new things.
So more often than not I felt like something was wrong with me or that I was doing something wrong because, after a few months of thinking I’d finally found my passion, I’d discover something else that I was equally, if not more, interested in.
Then, in my mid-thirties, the words of bestselling author, Elizabeth Gilbert, transformed things for me.
If you've lost your life's true passion (or if you're struggling desperately to find passion in the first place), don't sweat it. Back off for a while. But don't go idle, either. Just try something different, something you don't care about so much. Why not try following mere curiosity, with its humble, roundabout magic? At the very least, it will keep you pleasantly distracted while life sorts itself out. At the very most, your curiosity may surprise you. Before you even realize what's happening, it may have led you safely all the way home.
- Elizabeth Gilbert
While I loved her memoir, Eat, Pray, Love, it was Gilbert’s book Big Magic that had a profound impact on me.
The book inspired me to quit the gruelling quest to find my passion and empowered me to embrace my curious nature.
I think curiosity is our friend that teaches us how to become ourselves. And it’s a very gentle friend and a very forgiving friend, and a very constant one. Passion is not so constant, not so gentle, not so forgiving, and sometimes. not so available.
- Elizabeth Gilbert
When I follow my curiosity, I find my way back home to myself.
So the best path for me to take, when I find myself at a crossroads, is always the one I’m most curious about.
However, as I am generally curious about multiple things at any one time, I use my journaling practice to connect with my inner knowing to identify which interest feels most aligned, right now.
And the right now is key, because it gives me permission to shift my interest as and when it feels right to do so. It also means I can’t really “miss out” because I’m always choosing what feels most meaningful for me at any given moment.
If you haven’t read Big Magic, I highly recommend it.
And with Spring on the way and the fresh energy the season often brings, the coming weeks could be an opportune time for you to start following or at least be guided by your curiosity.
Journaling Prompts
Your journal is a great place to explore curiosity because there are no rules, limitations or judgement.
Here are some journaling prompts to engage your curiosity:
I wonder what…
I have always been curious about…
I am intrigued by / fascinated with…
I wish I knew more about / I’d love to know more about…
What has been attracting my attention lately?
What does my most recent Google search history / YouTube watch history / recently listened to podcasts tell me about my current interests?
Looking through the social media posts I have been saving recently, what insight does this give me about what I may be interested in or curious about right now?
In the past, how has following your curiosity positively surprised you and/or impacted your life?
How can curiosity be a friend to you?
What does it mean to come back home to yourself? Describe in detail using all of your senses.
Journaling Playlist
I’m a big fan of Lo-Fi music and Spotify has a good selection of playlists.
The lush lofi playlist provides a curation of mellow vibes perfect for journaling.
FYI: Journaling Self-Care
That’s it from me.
If you have enjoyed this edition of Notes on Journaling, please tap the 🤍 to help other like-minded readers discover it on the Substack network.
And until next time, follow your curiosity and keep feeling, healing and dreaming through journaling. ✨️
~ Leanne
P.S. Feel free to share your thoughts about this edition of Notes on Journaling in the comments.
I too love Big Magic. Have it both in written and audio formats. Thanks for the reminder ... think I'll give it a listen now!